Maybe I don't wanna push it until it breaks

It has been forever, I know, I just don't want to leave this journal SO forgotten.
I am still both nervous and anxious for Rafa. I remember crying on the phone with my best friend. I don't really care if he's number 1, 2 or 1000, I just want to see him as healthy and happy as possible, although it's always a utopia, a mere dream of mine. I just wanna be able to look at those beautiful eyes and see some happiness and strenght.


Well, I'm on vacation so my day is pretty much read a book and watch Star Trek. I bought a DVD box with the first 6 movies and tons of extras. The best distraction of all.

This entry is too short and I'm sleepy (sleeping meds are kicking in), I'm gonna put the lyrics of one of my favorite songs...

WILLIE NELSON - If I Were a Painting

If I were a painting
Captured on canvas
Alone in the portrait I would stand
And brush strokes bold
Yet soft as a whisper
The work of a feminine hand
Caught in a still life
Surrounded by shadows
And lost in a background of blue
If I were a painting
My price would be pain
And the artist would have to be you
I imagine the colors
Would all run together
If you ever allowed me to cry
So don't paint the tears
Just let me remember me
Without you in my eyes
It's only the frame
That holds me together
Or else I would be falling apart
If I were a painting
I wouldn't feel
And you wouldnt be breaking my heart.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
I can't believe it yet. Really can't.
After a sum of 22 hours or even more trying to buy those three damn tickets, I FINALLY GOT IT! It was impossible to buy it online, I almost did it, but at the last part, before you put you credit card number, adress and stuff, the site just stopped...nothing worked anymore. So, I tried by phone. Yesterday, I spent like...9 hours of my day just hitting "redial" and hearing that stupid busy tone. THE WHOLE DAY. I just managed to gather my books and study for today's match exam at around 10:00 pm...usually I'm still studying at this time (I go to bed 30 minutes after), but I start at 7:00 pm (not counting the afternoon round of Chemistry, Portuguese, Biology bla bla bla...).
But it was all worth it and now it's over...all the hours without eating (well, that's part of my routine, but it has gotten more accute these 2 days), the naps ('cause I didn't have much sleep at night), the nails all bitten, the lack of concentration and the anxiety.
Can't wait to catch those tickets...I'll sit in the pavement in front of my house to wait for the postman.
December 18 will be a hell of a day. I hope so!

They deserve to play each other...it's just so right, it's meant to be. I'm a happier person on these special Sundays, no matter who wins.
Aw...

You want commitment,
Take a look into these eyes
They burn with fire, yeah
Until the end of time.
I would do anything, I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die
To have you in these arms tonight.
Baby, I want you like the roses want the rain
You know I need you like a poet needs the pain
I would give anything, my blood, my love, my life
If you were in these arms tonight.
I'd hold you,
I'd need you,
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms.
I'd love you,
I'd please you,
I'd tell you that I'd never leave you
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight.
We stared at the sun
And we made a promise
A promise this world would never blind us
These were our words,
Our words were our songs,
Our songs are our prayers,
These prayers keep me strong
And I'd still believe
If you were in these arms.
Your clothes are still scattered all over our room
This old place still smells like your perfume,
Everything here reminds me of you
And there's nothing I wouldn't do.
And these were our words,
They keep me strong.

In These Arms by Bon Jovi.

(Their pics are warming me up...gosh, I'm freezing here.)

Código-nombre Colibrí

¿Porqué mentir? ¿Fingir que perdonó?
Continuar amigos sin rencor
La emoción acabó...
¡Que casualidad es el amor!
Nuestra canción nunca más tocó...
¿Porqué ser tan educado cuando quieres destilar terceras intenciones?
Desperdiciando mi miel despacito, flor en flor
Entre mis enimigos, colibrí...
Yo protegí tu nombre por amor,
Un código-nombre colibrí...
No responda nunca, collbrí, nunca
Para cualquier persona en las calles, colibrí,
Que sólo yo podía, dentro de su oreja fría,
Decir secretos batidos en licuadora...
Tú soñabas despierta una maneira de no sentir dolor,
Cogía el lloro y aguaba lo que el amor tiene de bueno...
Cogía el lloro y aguaba lo que el amor tiene de bueno...

~

I took some pics of me + what things I have about Roger (not including the newspaper's photos and stuff...I would probably explode my digital camera if I would take a photo of every single photo I have ahhaha)!


This is the photo which my racket came with.


Another one x]


This is my torn-a-grip x]


This is me and my racket...poor thing...already fell to the floor ACCIDENTALY (ahahaha it's always the racket's fault!)  during practicing ahahaah...I couldn't control myself...never gonna do it again...
This pic is old...I took it last month, I think...but it's still old..it's a little dark because of the camera configuration...I don't understand my digital camera, definitely

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I don't have anything to say because I'm in no state of thinking at the moment...the reason? Happiness! I'm smiling since I woke up in the morning...I'm so happy for Roger! He deserves so much that I can't even express...he's such a nice, strong and fighter guy...he deserves every single thing he has archieved until today, until this minute, until this second. He's a legend, man! Me, as a tennis lover and as someone who loves playing the sport, just have to thank God very much for giving the world a chance to watch, surprise, smile, bite our nails or even cry when watching this perfect athlete and soul.
ROGER, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD, not just happiness, love, health and all that old "bla bla bla" but, seriously, WORLD is the better wish for someone like him.
But it doesn't mean he doesn't deserves love 0:-) As long as Rafa's the one who's giving him this love, I don't mind :D


I loooooooove blending :] Photoshop will surely go to Heaven! HAHAHAHAHA

I was so happy on tuesday night, I was going to watch a live concert here in my town, I got out from shower and my mother entered the bathroom saying that a horrible accident had happened 100 meters far from our old house in São Paulo...it was a chock, I even got a little sad and almost didn't go to the concert. I heard all the sad stories...dead children, a pregnant woman, people with politic power and so on...it's a disaster, for sure. Beyond the chock, what amazed me was the lack of respect that people have...I found a terrible in Orkut and I it got me really pissed off. They were saying: "It was just 186 people...it could be more, there were empty seats in the flight", "I don't give a fuck, nobody of my family died". I prefer to believe that what's theirs is kept, they say this kind of cruelties but I don't think they will mean what they said if his parents, children, relatives had died...
The airlines on Brazil are a total mess...I hope it's the last accident we'll have to witness...

Oh, God, I'm so happy we got it! Really...I'm happier than I've been for weeks. Everybody around saying "Brazil is going to loose 8x0", "It will be a disaster", "We're going to have our asses kicked" and now our team surprised them. It has got a different taste, of course it has, winning when everybody is throwing sticks and stones at you, but not just that, we beat our "hermanos" (how we say), who were apparently unbeatable (see Messi crying kinda broke my heart :/ I love him...come on...he's playing in the best team, Barça! \o/).
Another thing that made my day was our Volleyball Team who won the World League...I looooove those guys, I don't have adjectives for them...I'd say "amazing" but it's not half of what they represent, what they really are and how proud they make us be to be brazilian.
Well, we got our first gold medal in PanAmerican Games that are happening here in Rio de Janeiro...it was in Tae-Kwon-Do but we got really close yesterday on Artistic Gimnastic (it's like this how is it calling? Hahaha) on male and female categories...it seems like today it's the Golden Day for Brazil ;) I love my country. I really do. I love so much that I cannot hold my tears when I hear the National Anthem...
Well..
I'm ending my patriotic post x]
:*

Nothing new...
I saw Harry Potter yesterday and I really don't know what to think about it...I got out of the cinema feeling totally empty. I don't know, I got so tired of Harry Potter...JK Rowling and Warner have got such a bad timing between releasing the books and the movies...got tired...I've already read all the books but I'm not looking sooo forward to read the last one...by the way, a little slash doesn't hurt ;) Hahahahha...my Draco/Harry roots (it was my very first slash pairing) always wake when I listen to anything about Harry Potter...
I'm workin' on another Roger/Rafa fic...in Portuguese, for a while...

Bye! :]

I used to love the rain, but I must say that it's not making me happy since Saturday. Rafa's in a big trouble, poor boy! Somehow HE HAS HO MANAGE, 'CAUSE I WANT ANOTHER ROGERxRAFA FINAL! AND IT MUST BE THEM, I DON'T TAKE ANY OTHER AS AN EXCUSE! Humpf...
I think that the reason I'm so p'ed off it's because I'm on holiday...nothing to do and nothing to think about but my every-day 300 sit-ups. No. I'm a dirty liar. I've got Spanish and English tests to do this week and, obviously, train my dear sport that I love so much...tennis :D
I'm going to sleep a bit now...

Time for nothing...
No internet this weekend and whole week...
Hope I'll surive...

I needed to change all this stuff. I wasn't paying much attention when I chose the previous layout. I have a little experience with HTML and I'm starting to think about making my own layout but, I don't know yet, perhaps just next week. My tests are killing me.
By the way, I'm writing a new fic, thanks Bon Jovi my inspiration came and I think it's worth-reading so far...
Oh, I HATE UGLY PEOPLE FROM MY SCHOOL...dammit...

WIMBLEDON \o/ HOHOHOHO! I'm so happy!! I feel so empty when there's no tournament going on...
Good luck Rafa 'n Rogi!


This pic is sooooooooooooo sexy! Red cheeks...these sexy hands (I love hands, I think that's why I like piano so much)...this lost expression...this hair...humm. No good, Rafa, don't even try to take Roger out of your nasty and naughty thoughts...

Gosh, the ending-celebration of the School Games is today and no one can imagine how nervous I am! I'm going to dance 2 coreographies (one is a typical dance from here, Brazil, called "Frevo" and the other is a remix, like dance and eletronic music), I'm worried most about the change of clothes from one dance to another...me and my friends will have to run to the locker room and change in seconds. But I think everything will worth, I'm another person when I'm dancing, I forget about everything, I don't even listen to anyone because of my concentration. I'm praying every second for my legs to open and give me all the flexibility I need (and have)... My Right-Leg Spakkati, PLEASE, WORK!!! My Left-Leg one is PERFECT, DON'T DISAPPOINT ME NOW!!!!
 OK, I'm going to the school now, the celebration is beggining in 1 hour and a half and I hope everything goes well...

Oh God, I'm dying!!!!!

Well...it was about time...

Title: Hope You’re Behaving.
Author: Lilla (lillaxd)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal
Disclaimer: I don’t know these guys and this is just a piece of my dark imagination!
Warnings: Mention of suicide.
Author's Notes: Set after the French Open 2007 final. It’s based on the little song “Hope You’re Behaving (Interlude)” by Cassie. Well, that’s my first fic, it’s a small one and my English isn't that good, unfortunately it's not my natural language :/…I hope I didn’t have gone so bad...

Well, I don't know how I'm still awake...exhausting day....the whole afternoon spent in school just to create a coreography. Tomorrow (today, to be exactly, it's 00:37, I've got piano classes on 10:00...
Everything so normal...

I'm working on a shortfic, but it's getting cute. It's finished, I just have to repair some little mistakes...I'm kinda perfectionist, that's something I think it's good...well...
Gonna have some sleep now...I'm starting to see the keyboard buttons switching places...that's no good sign...

Well, that's it!! Rafy is the champion of the French Open 2007 for the third time in a row! Our Guga (Gustavo Kuerten) gave the winner-trophy to him and we, brazilians are proud of this...Guga is for sure unforgettable for all of us, it's sad his physical isn't helping him on his return, but we won't forget him.
But, weeeell, I'm not here just to talk about Gustavo Kuerten, but Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer!
Well, was it a good match? Yes.
Was I expecting something better? I cannot lie, I was. I wouldn't ever imagine that Roger would be so...apathic...Gosh...lots of break points wasted...everybody could see the lack of hope on his face, specially on the last set. I got sad, I won't lie, I wanted Rafy to win, but not this way, you know. I think it was even painful for Rafy (of coooooooourse, THEY LOVE EACH OTHER), he even said he was sorry and stuff...there's a pic that don't lie about it and if I'm not lazy tomorrow, I'll post x]
Anyway, I'm sure Rafa gave Rogi a consolation prize as soon as they were left alone in the locker rooms ;)

CONGRATULATIONS, RAFA! YOU FOUGHT HARD AND YOU DESERVE IT, BOY!
Roger, don't be sad, you're a winner and a wonderful player!


Can you feel the love? I do!

I think I won't last until there o.o...I'll have a serious nervous breakdown instead of watching or enjoy my Saturday.
I changed my default picture :DDDDDD I thinnk the phrase explains it all. Britney Spears can be put into good use on this matter of Roger/Rafa pics. Not just Britney, I reached a point that every new song I listen to or even every new music-video I watch, I think about Roger and Rafy...it's weird...that's the point you stop and realize: "I'M SO OBSESSED WITH THEM"...and, hell, yeah, I cannot be happier with my two obsessions :)

My English is so poor, I know... I'm improving little by little, I'm in Advanced Level on my English School, look how I'm a good student HA HA HA!

This weekend is killing me...Barcelona is going to play against Espanyol on Catalan's Derby...I hope they win and Real Madrid loose HA HA HA...is that too much that I'm asking? 0=) Rafy and Barça to win?

:-*

Nothing interest to say, just that I want sooooo badly to see another Rafa/Roger epic match on Roland Garros final! I'm just waiting, just waiting, biting my nails and a heartache that no one can imagine...Rafy, Rogi...what can I do? Is it a sin to love them both? :///

Is it just me or Rafa is REALLY REALLY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY THINNER? Gosh, when I saw this pic I almost found myself in my school having an anatomy class! He's still SO HOT, that's what really matters.

First entry...
Gosh, I think this Livejournal is kinda hard for me to learn, but somehow I'll manage...

Rafa Nadal's Birthday today and I'm just sooooooo happy :D I think nothing can bring me down today, but I'm not so sure about tomorrow...
I'll even try to write something in Spanish (Spanish classes are helping me A LOT! But the fact that this language is a little similar to Portuguese helps me a lot too)...

Feliz cumpleaños Rafa Nadal! Veinte y un años!
Todo de bueno, chicooo :D Fuerza y vaaaaamos!
Que puedas festejar este cumpleaño un poquito más tarde con una copa en las manos :D
Eres un hombre de verdad ahora, pero siempre vas a ser nuestro pequeño campeón :D